5774

L'shana Tova Tikatevu... May you be inscribed (in the Book of Life) for a good year.

 

Miriam awakening us with the shofar!
Picture credit Jacob's Bones

 

Saying shana tova during Rosh Hashana seems like such a simple phrase. No more powerful than "good morning" for instance. Often equated to Happy New Year, yet in reality it's such a profound and moving sentiment. Wishing someone life for another year. And not just any life, but a good life. Isn't that what we all want each day? Simply a good life? Something that isn't always so simple.

I love the High Holidays because they are so powerful. The simple becomes meaningful and intense. The mundane that often accounts for our daily comings and goings suddenly reminds us that there is purpose in every step. Every word we speak can impact us and those around us. Every thought we have emits an energy into the world that has a ripple effect. Every breath we take literally IS life.

The High Holidays make us stop and remember that there is more than just us and our simple lives of work and carpooling and soccer practice and swimming lessons. There is more than just us and our pains, our sorrow, our grief for those we have lost. These days remind us that we are just a tiny part of this immense universe, yet our place here is essential and it means something. Even if we are unsure of what.

While I tend to be reflective about my life and ways I can better myself throughout the year and I also tend to be brutally hard on myself when I don't live up to my own expectations of humanity, love and compassion, such contemplation on a daily basis that the High Holidays evokes would drain us of life. I think. It would be all consuming to ponder our purpose and existence in the universe each moment of each day, 365 days per year. There must be balance in order to fulfill that "good life" this holiday wishes for each of us.

During the High Holidays I tend to be even harder on myself than I already am daily. My imperfections can crush my heart as I think back over the year about some of the awful things I've thought, said and done, even to those I love the most. I tend to forget to reflect on all the good. In a way that's okay since this is a time to repent, to ask family and friends for forgiveness. To ask God for forgiveness for all those times I didn't live up to the image God created me in. But we should never forget the good in each of us. The good is hope and hope is fundamental for improving.

The High Holidays are a time to create and renew personal vows of betterment. It's a time to remind us of who we desire to be and to actively work harder to become that person. Imagine if every single person took such a short period of time each year to do such a thing the kind of world this would be?! We truly would create a heaven on earth, as it was meant to be. Such a thought always makes me smile. Always gives me hope.

This is a time of year I push aside the reality of all the hate that exists. Of the wars and senseless deaths and murder. Of the horrific crimes against humanity that are taking place in far too many places even as I type right now. I can't think of those things. It is too overwhelming to think of how much work the world needs to be better. This is the one time each year I can 100% focus on being a better ME. A better mother. A better wife. A better daughter and friend. A better person. It's a time to be selfish in a way. For me, it is in the selfishness it takes to be a better person where one can achieve selflessness, which is precisely what this world needs.

While all of this is moving and powerful beyond measure, one aspect of the High Holidays I love and have been dwelling on this year is the annulment of past vows. Not vows like marriage vows, but more new year resolutions type of vows. There are a number of specifics regarding this annulment bit, but for me it's a relief to let go. I set new resolutions each year and each year I feel awful as I read all the things I promised myself I would do to be that better person and then never fulfilled. It's a chance to let go. To start new. To make new vows to myself, with God. To work harder to fulfill them this year. It provides me the opportunity to let go of past regret without guilt.

Ironically, this is the one part I struggle with the most! The High Holidays grant us this "pass", yet letting go of past guilt and regret remains my greatest challenge. It's possibly the most significant hindrance in my quest for being the best me I can be. And now I sound like a US Army commercial. Oy vey!

Seriously though. This year, instead of my usual list of lofty vows which I rarely keep, at least not for long, I've decided... as in at this moment I just decided... that my only vow will be, to let go. To believe in this little piece of the High Holidays, the annulment of past vows, and just. let. the. past. be. It may not be the traditional take on this annulment of vows thing. It certainly doesn't encapsulate what the High Holidays stand for. But trying to improve who I am each day so I can shine a brighter light into this world, which I see as desperately craving more light, certainly is what the High Holidays stand for. To me anyway. That and true repentance for all the wrongs I've done to not live up to that said light filled human being God wants me to be. And that of course.

So, just one vow this year. Easy. I mean, I've only been working on this particular part of myself for over a decade now. Well, this one vow plus writing more. And since you're reading this, I guess I'm starting 5774 off pretty well so far!

Jewish or not, I'd love to hear what you strive for to be a better you each day. In the end, it's all we really can be.

Namaste, Shalom and Shana Tova my friends!

 

Barbra Streisand singing Avinu Malkeinu. Breathtaking!

This song encapulates the High Holidays for me.