Throwing in the Towel

This was not the blog I intended to write today. It's not the one that's been on my mind for the past few days as I soak in these Days of Awe. Which is the time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.  It's a time of reflection, repentance and taking a good long hard look at myself and what I need to do to be a better person, to be better for my family and our world. This is not that blog because today is one of those days when I just need to throw in the towel and release a bit.

Caleb has been up the past two nights. Last night he refused to go to sleep until 11:30pm after going to bed, late, at 8:30. Now, me being up all night isn't exactly news given my insomnia and Rylie's antics, who happened to sleep these past two nights, of course. BUT Caleb being up is not usual and it is more frustrating because it's not the norm. I didn't think much of it though. Just like when he had a fever on Monday for a brief time, I didn't think much of that. It came and went and he was acting fine.

bruise on his little cheek 

He also fell on Sunday and we still don't know what he hit his face on but he got a small cut on his cheek and a bruise. He looks a mess between that and what appeared to be the fall/winter redness kids get around the mouth from licking, often their runny little nose. Yesterday at Rylie's dentist appointment the dentist mentioned it might be yeast which they can get from licking outside their mouth too. She suggested trying neosporin first and some anti fungal if that didn't work. Well, it was significantly worse today so we were going to go the yeast treatment route later today....


More on where that's going in a bit.

The rest of my morning went something like this.... alarm went off, I hit snooze. Before the snooze went off I reset the alarm for another 10 minutes and figured if worse came to worse the kids could eat cereal from snack cups on the way to school. Instead, everything went pretty smooth considering the late wake ups on a school day. As I was giving myself a bit of a good job mommy pat on the back that we managed to get dressed and eat and were about ready to head to school in plenty of time, I heard Rylie from the bathroom as she finished up brushing her teeth. She said, "I need to go potty". I went in and found what she should have said is, "I just pissed my pants" while standing on the little potty, fully clothed, socks and shoes and all.

Hand one thrown up in the air.

After a  minor mommy meltdown, I hate being late, and much anxiety over leaving pee unattended to until I returned home, I did a quick wash down of her little butt and legs in the tub, grabbed a new outfit and we were racing out the door....again. We made it right on time. Bit of a pat on the back again.

Dropping Caleb off was another one of those pry the screaming child from his death grip and run out the door feeling like a crappy mom for leaving her child so upset. What does a mommy do in such a situation? Why you drive to the nearest coffee shop for some comfort of course! Mind you, I had a coffee I made at home in the car with me, but that just doesn't say comfort food, or drink in this case, like coffee from the coffee shop does.

I pulled in and sent the husband a quick text about my ever so eventful morning and got out of my car to a nice man waiting by his car to inform me that the coffee house was NOT OPEN!

I held up my WTF sign. If you're not sure of my WTF reference, read this at some point. She's awesome. Anyway, hand two was about half thrown up as I pondered what sort of karma was after me today.

I ran home to quickly clean up the pee, and peed on clothes, shoes and potty, left all over the bathroom and to grab the dog for his yearly check up. The vet without kids, woowho! That may be better than a vacation. Eh, not really, but damn close. Not to mention, the vet isn't so bad on the eyes. In short, Apollo didn't try to kill any of the other dogs as he's sporadically has tried to do in the past, which landed us in the bad doggy waiting room for all future visits at our vet in St. Louis. He didn't growl or act like he wanted to eat any of the humans heads off either. Score! He also is very healthy for a pure bred, 8 year old boxer with various ailments. The vet was very pleased that he is a prozac "success story" and we got another year worth of the magic pill. Score again! Though I felt a bit guilty as I realized this appointment was the most individualized attention my first baby has received from me in three years! I suck. But not as bad as the people who took him from our front steps when he got out and waited like a good boy right at the gate. When they brought him back they scolded us for not having a collar on him and told us his microchip didn't scan after I explained our fenced in yard and microchip was the reason for no collar. Yes, well, his chip scanned just fine. People are asses. Anyway....

I went to a different coffee shop and finally got my comfort drink before rushing back home to drop Apollo off and go pick up the rugrats, whew. I'm sort of tired just reliving it all!

Pick up went smoothly today. I just love when Rylie squeals, "Mooommmmyyyy" and runs to give me a hug. Caleb came back to me the way I left him, in tears. Just like all the other 1 year olds from his class. The teachers claim they aren't like that the whole time. Upon getting home we went stright for the bathroom to wash hands. These illnesses are killing me so that's standard.

Umhmmm, well, remember that "yeast" or rash or whatever on Caleb's face I said I would get back to in a bit? We finished washing hands and as I dried his I noticed those same bumps on the palms of his hands. The light bulb went off as I said OH SHIT! Probably aloud, I'm not sure. I grabbed my phone and called the pediatrician immediately, praying I was over reacting. Five minutes later the nurse called back as I explained everything since Monday and she said, "Yup, that's hand, foot, mouth." I think I groaned because she then said,  "Sorry."

I only know what it is from having worked with kids for so long, but I've never seen it, except in pictures. She says there's no treatment and it's not contagious if he doesn't have a fever anymore. BUT, I feel like I need to go wash every toy he may have touched or put in his mouth over the past few days in some bleach water. I don't know the little things like, do I change his toothbrush now or once the blisters are gone? Should I wipe him with his own cloth after meals, or even a paper towel and not worry about being green in this case? If it's not contagious now, does that in fact mean touching his hands or wiping his mouth won't spread it and if that's not the case, well how in the hell will I ever get rid of it or keep the rest of us from getting it?! Yes, freak out mode ensued. I text Craig, again.

I honestly should be researching about this virus instead of writing to release my freak out emotions but there's a lot I should be doing, like not having Rylie watch TV while I write you all, playing with her outside on this beautiful day, studying for yoga, folding laundry, working on the sink full of dishes...... But here I am.

BECAUSE, it didn't end there. Nope, as I put Caleb down for nap, late, I came downstairs to find Rylie playing in the play room with no panties on. I didn't specify naked because all she wears at home is panties soooo.... I asked her why she was naked. She ignored me. There's a surprise. I went in the bathroom and once again she didn't make it to the toilet. This time she tried so there was pee on the shower mat and over to the toilet, all over the toilet and floor and some on the bath rug too. Fan-freakin-tastic! It's a small bathroom but still.

I grabbed up all the wet stuff, again, and went down to do another load of peed on clothes, towels and rugs. And there you have it folks, I officially throw my arms up in defeat. I throw in the towel for today. Some you win and some you lose. Today I stood in the ring with mommy verse the world or karma or whatever this is, and I decided for my sanity it would be best to forfeit to the powers that be. Until next time....

Though, I do still have yoga class tonight.

Watch, there's probably a quiz I am unaware of since I always forget to check the syllabus!

Even though I threw in the towel,
I'm trying to remember this today!