"Look at this big, nasty boogie!"
After breakfast Rylie came running over to get wiped off and stopped dead in her tracks as she excitedly pointed at the Keurig
"It's peeing, Mommy, it's peeing!"
When I finished laughing, because she obviously kept saying it once she saw it was entertaining me, I told her it wasn't peeing, it was brewing coffee.
Rylie: Look! It's brewing coffee!!
Mommy: I know honey, I hit the brew button.
Rylie: Oh, good idea, Mommy!
Yes, yes, it is. Coffee is always a good idea.
"Caleb, look at my butt, I hurt it, here look".
I called in to them as I got up to go check out the situation...
"It's okay, Ry, he doesn't need to look at your butt".
I entered the room...
"Keep your panties on, you don't just pull your panties down and show people your butt".
Oh, the things you never think you'll say... and then you become a mom!
Rylie: But I hurt it on the trampoline, Mommy. He needs to look at my boo boo.
Fair enough. I asked if it was okay and she said yes so I gave her little tush a rub and they continued with their jumping on the trampoline.
Next thing I know they are in the play room and I hear...
"Caleb, check out my butt."
I go in and there she is on her back, legs in the air, panties down and the boy is looking at her girl parts with an expression on his face that says, what the heck?!
Mommy: Rylie! Pull your panties up, you don't show people down there.
Hey, maybe he'll deliver babies someday, but Oh. My. Gosh. Seriously?
Caleb throws all the puzzles.
Rylie: Oh, geez Louise, silly, crazy boy. That's not very good.
Daddy: Who taught her that? She sounds like a 70 year old grandma.
Mommy yells upstairs, "Ry, what are you doing up there?"
Rylie: Cleaning my floor.
I go up. "Why are you cleaning your floor? What happened?"
She has a new toothbrush out and the hand towel from their bathroom, she's scrubbing the carpet with the toothbrush...
Rylie: Why is (aka: "because") I need to clean it.
I feel the carpet...
"Why's your carpet wet?"
Rylie: Why is ("because"), I'm cleaning it.
Me thinking... umm ok. So, do I keep the toothbrush? I mean, it's brand new!
Mommy: ok, well, let's go downstairs for snack.
I put the toothbrush and towel away.
When I got downstairs she's has the fridge door open and has stopped getting her milk to take her panties off...
Mommy: What are you doing?!
Rylie: My panties are wet.
Mommy: Did you pee them?
Rylie: Yeah.
Mommy: Well hurry up and get in the bathroom to finish.
Rylie runs to the bathroom and as I follow a light bulb goes off.
Mommy: Um, Ry, is that why your carpet was wet? Did you pee on it?
Rylie: Um, Yeah. That's not very good. But it doesn't matter.
Me thinking... WHAT?! It doesn't matter? Now I really need to figure out of I'm going to save that toothbrush! crap.
"Oopsie, spaghettio"
I love the combo action she uses on this one!
Caleb is under my legs crying as I do the dishes.
Mommy: Rylie, what did you do to him?
Rylie: I pushed him.
Mommy: Is it okay to push our brother?
Rylie: No
Mommy: Then why do you keep doing it?
Rylie: Because it's fun.
Mommy: Go take a time out
Rylie sitting on the potty...
"Remember, poop stinks."
Yes, yes, thanks for the reminder, Ry.
Mommy: Rylie, did you pee yet?
Rylie: Not quite.
Mommy: Ready to eat lunch?
Rylie: Not quite. In a bit.
Daddy: Snuggle up. Are you all comfy?
Rylie: Not quite.
Mommy: Ready for bed?
Rylie: Not quite.
Mommy: Are you ready to get out of the shower?
Rylie: No, Not quite.
I think you are catching on to this act, yes? No idea where she picked up the "not quite" from.
Rylie enters a room....
"Hey, what's going on in here?!"
Mommy watching Rylie and Daddy have a "picnic" in the igloo I built them. Rylie just gave Daddy some food...
Daddy: What are you going to eat?
Rylie: I'm going to eat my boogies.
Daddy: Why are you going to eat boogies?
Rylie: Why is ("because") they are my favorite food.
Mommy hides face to laugh but can't stop!
Working on writing her name...
Mommy: Are you going to turn that P into an R?
Rylie: Yup...Ab-so-lutely.
Finishing up lunch....
"First I'll finish my smoothie, then we'll go look at the fishes. Sound like a plan, Daddy? Ok."
In bed...
"Mommy...Mommy!"
I go up. "Yes, Ry?"
She says something I can't understand.
"What did you say"
Rylie: Remember, (singing) Look a little closer and find out what you want to know.
Mommy: (laughing) But I asked you what I want to know.
Rylie: singing Daniel Tiger again... "Look a little closer and find out what you want to know"
Mommy: (still laughing) Ok, I will, go to sleep.
A few minutes later.... repeat above
A few minutes later.... repeat again.
Mommy isn't laughing anymore. I took Philosophy 101 over 15 years ago and I'm not in the mood.
Mommy: Good Morning Rylie
Rylie: Good morning birdie, birdie Mommy.
Rylie: I'm Pluto
Daddy: Oh, well what does Pluto eat for dinner?
Rylie: Pluto eats fruits and vegetables.
Daddy: Fruits and vegetables?! (I'm sure thinking, ooh, maybe we have a shot with this tonight)
Rylie: That's right Pluto Daddy.
This turns into Pluto Dad becoming Dr. Dad and then a game of fetch, with a stethoscope as her tail.
Puts on some dress up princess clothes.
"Look, Mom! I look beautiful!"
Rylie: Caleb, do you want to play with me?
Caleb: Yeah.
Rylie: Here, I'll make you hot cocoa.
Caleb: Yeah.
Rylie: Ok, I'm hungry. Go get me food, Caleb.
Caleb: Oh, Ok. (Runs to find her real food)
Rylie: Thank you, Caleb. Caleb, I need my milk.
Caleb: Oh, Ok. (Runs to get her milk from the fridge)
Rylie: Thank you, Caleb. Caleb, read me a book.
Rylie: Caleb, read me another book, no I want this one.
Caleb: Oh, Ok. Here you go.
And on and on an on.....
Rylie: Caleb, let's be butterflies. Here's your wings. I'll help you put them on.
Caleb: Yeah.
 |
Her poor brother. |
"Rylie, how about some peaches?"
Rylie: No way Jose!
"Rylie, are you ready for school?"
Rylie: After a while.
Mommy: It's not time to get up Ry. Go back to sleep.
Rylie: But it's a beautiful nice day out there. I want to play out outside in the snow.
(No, the out outside is not a typo)
Just 5 minutes ago...
Daddy asks me if the wings are hot.
Rylie: Wings?! For me? (she doesn't eat meat)
Daddy: Sure, you can try them.
Rylie: That's right. I can do anything!
Lessons I've learned from my 3 year old....
We watch too much PBS and Disney Go.
Her self esteem is not lacking.
We have a serious booger picking issue.
My 3 year old is in charge of, well, just about everything!
This may not be as funny written as it is in the moment. I figure if nothing else, it's a good way for me to remember all the nutty things she does!
This put the biggest smile on my face and made me giggle! We should get together and write a book of "3 yr old isms" and split the profit!
ReplyDeleteThis was so funny as I haven't spent time with the grand kids for 4 weeks & how funny they both are.
ReplyDelete