Me (very concerned): What could cause something like this?
(worried the laundry would pile up until we could get it fixed or there was some other serious issue in this old house we bought)
Craig looks up in the rafters and all around and calmly responds: A squirrel
Me: How do you know?
As I said this, upon seeing my husband looking at him, Rocky came flying through the rafters and jumped down, clearly not noticing I was also there, right on me! I screamed, jumped on Craig and then pretty much in the washer, as if it could protect me from the rogue squirrel. By now the dog and Rylie had come down to investigate all the commotion.
Apollo caught sight of our new friend and the race around the basement ensued. Picture frames were knocked down, I was screaming and half still hiding, half peeking out the door, plotting how I could make my way up the stairs in the middle of the basement without getting caught in the chase. Rylie was in the middle of it all laughing with Craig saying, "get em Apollo!" as I screamed "No, don't let the dog get him!"
The chase came full circle as Apollo ran the squirrel right back towards me. In my feeble effort to run for the stairs I ended up stuck in the doorway as Rocky once again flew at me, hopping from the bed, off the door, on to my shoulder and back up into the rafters where we lost track of him. Craig looked and looked and determined he was well hidden and there was nothing we could do about it.
We went upstairs and Craig said he would get a live trap and catch him tomorrow.
Me: I'm supposed to sleep with a squirrel in the house?! What if he gets into the baby's room? What if he has rabies?!?! WHAT IF HE BITES ONE OF THE KIDS! (My panic grew with each more disastrous thought)
Craig (very calm): He doesn't have rabies, he won't get into the main part of the house, I'll get him tomorrow. By now he couldn't stifle his laugh any longer and was dying as he managed to get out, "You should have saw your face, that was the funniest thing I've ever saw, I can't wait to tell everyone!"
He then starting texting everyone he knew to relay the story. Laughing the whole time. Yes, yes, real funny, a crazy squirrel jumps on your wife, nearly kills me and it's funny.
Rylie proceeded to open the basement door the rest of the night and the next two days while we had our guest staying with us, calling "squirrel, squirrel". I calmed down, posted my status to facebook where people weren't sure if I was quoting a scene from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation or not and then Craig and I looked at each other as we do more than once a week, shook our heads and said "Effin West Virginia".
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| It took two days because someone at Craig's work had this trap he could borrow, of course they did...effin West Virginia! |
Since moving here 8 months ago we tend to blame every crazy thing that happens, ridiculous thing we see, incompetent person we encounter on the state of West Virginia. Unfair? Sure, but we are Pennsylvanians at heart and well, that's just what Pennsylvanians do, make fun of West Virginians!
Today I saw a very pregnant lady walking her dog at the park and I thought, oh good for her getting out before it's too hot, I remember those days, walking and hoping (praying) I'd go into labor. Then I saw the cigarette she was smoking and I shook my head and thought, effin West Virginia.
I spent two days this week calling the doctor and express scripts after finding out the Dr. called in my new prescription to the wrong place. I wanted to get it locally first to make sure I want to stick with it before getting a 3 months supply. I explained this before leaving the doctor on Friday and was told to call for the 3 month supply once I decided, yet they still called it into the mail order. I got it sorted out but making 5-6 unnecessary phone calls over the course of two days with these two munchkins is challenging. I thought... Ahhhh, effin West Virginia.
I also had to go back to Lowe's this week after being charged duplicate times for a handful of our garden items. The woman scanned them and when done realized only a couple items scanned. We took her word for it that she didn't double up on those items when she redid it all. Stupid us for not checking, but yup, we said, effin West Virginia!
And once again the mailman left our box open and once again something important came and was soaking wet after some bad storms. Once again Craig flipped and wanted to wait for him and tell him what he thought of his incompetence with his fist but we settled for shaking our heads and saying, you got it... effin West Virginia!
This was all just this week, so you can imagine the past 8 months!
When we told people we were moving and said where to they either would say, "Why would you do that?" or hear wrong and say, "Oh, Virginia, nice!" We'd say, "NO, West Virginia" and the consistent response then was, "oh". The jokes rolled in, hey, will you shoot your food from your porch each night or just grab some road kill for dinner? Hey, at least there won't be a wait for the dentist! Me, "Huh?" You know, no one has teeth so they don't need a dentist. Me, "Yeah, yeah".
We weren't let down. After finally getting in touch with our realtor, her first question was, "Do you want neighbors?" After closing I left a message for the painter we hired. He called back, "sorry, I was bailing hay". After our first visit we realized this. is. the. south., accents and all! We thought, oh good God, we are Yankee's through and through, what did we get ourselves into?
We moved and within five days I had an allergic reaction to something we still aren't sure of. I had hives for a month despite two urgent care visits, a steroid shot, two full rounds of steroid packs and a doctor visit which sent me with a stronger steroid and 2 additional allergy meds (I already take singular daily). That did the trick but all I thought the whole time was, I'm freaking allergic to this state! Or at least my house, oh my gosh, we have to buy a new house!!!! Good grief. Effin West Virginia.
Within this first week Rylie fell in our neighbor's coy pond and also found her very own dirt pit out back. Formerly a fire pit I assume. I thought, well, she's fitting right in! But after two baths per day for four days straight I thought, how the heck am I going to keep her clean?!
Like most things in life, it all just eventually works out. We still have a ton to do around the house and aren't fully "settled" but as it turns out, West Virginia isn't so bad. We have awesome neighbors and since it is the south, everyone is exceptionally nice. One neighbor not only helped Craig repair the front slate steps (Craig isn't exactly what one would call a handyman) but he mowed our yard while Craig was travelling the week after we moved in! Rylie has a best friend right across the street, who's mom took care of the kids, including putting Rylie to bed, while I went to the urgent care that first week here.
We can walk to a little park and the city is so small anything you want (that's available here) is close by with the added bonus that there's never really any traffic. We just planted an awesome garden that is three times the size of our old one yet doesn't take up even a fraction of our yard. And though I had serious anxiety over not having my starbucks, I finally found a good coffee shop... where they also sell the world's best cupcakes, no lie. Today, I finally took the plunge and got a mom's number I met at the park. Turns out they just moved here a couple months ago. Looks like I'm all set... parks, coffee, cupcakes and play dates!
It also turns out that we have yet to eat road kill or shoot our own dinner. Oh, and everyone I've met has teeth, go figure! Even better, people either like or at least don't hate Penn State, and since Penn Stater's don't have much love for Pitt, we fit in just fine with these Mountaineers!
Who would have thought that two PA kids would actually enjoy it here in Wild and Wonderful West Virginia?! Not me!
Don't get me wrong, it's still effin West Virginia ;) But at least for now, it's home!
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| A gift from my Aunt after hearing about our visitor, a perfect little stepping stone for our garden! |
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Namaste!
Jaci