Tiptoeing and Outrage

I wasn't going to write about this quite yet because it seems everyone and their mother has put in their two cents over the past month, but the chatter won't subside and keeps growing louder each day so here's my take on the killing in Florida, of a boy whose name we sadly all know for the wrong reason. "Teen" or not, he was still a boy, a child, someone's child and now he's gone and his family and friends are left with him as the poster child for how much work we all have left to do.

I'm glad I couldn't find a picture that I wasn't worried about a copyright infringement last night because I was able to read more today and sit back for a minute and think... and I kicked myself as I thought, wait a minute, I'm doing exactly what I asked others not to do a few months ago, judge, without all the facts. I have been judging based on the media's 'guilty before proven innocent' way of reporting that seems the way of the world now with how quickly information can go viral. So... what if this 28 year old man with a good 100 pounds on this 17 year old teen was assaulted? What if... well, my first take is to say, dude, learn to fight, you can't take on a kid without feeling your life is in jeopardy, without shooting him dead? Well then you sure as heck shouldn't be the self appointed neighborhood watch man, at the very least! And, if you truly couldn't fight back enough to run away until the police arrived, then shoot in the leg for crying out loud! Don't kill a kid with his whole life ahead of him over a fist fight! Of course, that's not possible because to shoot someone you have to have the opportunity to grab the gun from wherever you have it and pull the trigger. Hard to do if you aren't free to run. Either way, last I checked, the punishment for assault is not the firing squad, it's probably not even jail time. A police officer would have been charged with excessive force, so why isn't a self appointed watchman at least taken in for extensive questioning? Our system once again has shown it's flaws but the officers who let Zimmerman walk away from this crime I feel showed their prejudice, even racism, possibly more than Zimmerman...IF what Zimmerman says holds any truth to it.

All that said, we are still tiptoeing around the bigger issue because people are still too worried to dig in deep and talk about our stereotypes and prejudices and what those beliefs and images in our minds can lead to. They lead to people, police, walking away from a killing because the kid who was killed was black. Because they are told that black kid was the assailant, so it must be true.

Unlike many, and this may draw some harsh criticism, I was not outraged by the actual act of this boy being killed. I should say, my outrage was no more so than any child who is killed. From what I've read, this seems to be true for many, especially minorities, who see this crime as nothing new, and they are right. This isn't anything new. Perhaps being a Jew and regularly hearing of murders of Jews all around the world simply for being born a Jew has desensitized me in some ways to killings based on "isms", like it has desensitized people of color and other minorities. It happens whether those of the dominant culture (whoever that is, based on where you live) believe it or not. It happens. Perhaps it's my pessimism that says, this is simply a part of our human race, and it always has been. Does it make it okay that this is the way it is? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Does it make me sick to my stomach and does it make my heart ache and even wonder sometimes why I wanted to bring children into this world, a world that creates people capable of murdering children? Yes. But was I more outraged than any other time? No.

When I hear of kids being killed because of an "ism" it's hard for me not to picture the stories I read of SS officers pulling babies from their mothers arms to use as target practice or throwing them in the fire. It's difficult for me not to think, if I were born in one of my great grandparent's countries of origin, during the time of WWII, I could have just as easily been one of those mother's watching this horrific scene rather than reading about it. This was NOT OKAY. I remember my Native American anthropology class and learning of how small pox were intentionally introduced into their villages. My heart aches for all who suffered but I really think of the children, and it's NOT OKAY. I remember the videos from my American History class of Africans being violently snatched, taken from their families forever, and being brought to America, forced into slavery and the monstrous acts committed against them for centuries after. Monstrous acts committed against children. This was NOT OKAY. It's hard not to think outside of the US too, of things like the Tutsi children slaughtered in Rwanda and the Kurds in Iraq. I think of the Sudanese being murdered and now starving, acts committed by their own people and their president is still in charge despite the world knowing what is going on. This is NOT OKAY. The list is endless. Nearly every person's history has a horrid story of how humans can be the furthest thing from humane and no one can judge whose suffering has been worse. As far as I'm concerned, when such unimaginable acts are committed against anyone it is simply, NOT OK.

So, I've been trying to figure out why different groups of people are reacting in various forms of outrage. I wonder how many white people actually believed that racism was a thing of the past, for the most part. I wonder if they are outraged over the realization that while America has come far since the introduction of slavery four centuries ago and we have even come a long way since the start of the civil rights movement less than 60 years ago, we clearly have a LONG way to go. I wonder if it's solely the perceived lack of justice, even if Zimmerman was assaulted, there remains a lack of justice because the punishment far outweighed the crime. Is it the reaction of others, particularly those blaming the victim or what he was wearing that has led to such astounding media attention for something that is far from a solitary act of violence against a black teen? Maybe it's a combination of it all.

There are miles left to walk and many mountains left to claw our way up to eradicate the deeply rooted stereotypes we all have. Many of these stereotypes then translate into prejudices against both those who are different than us as well as our own people. From there, some, more than anyone really wants to admit or believe, transfer that prejudice into an "ism" and then some extremists take those 'isms, formulated on irrational beliefs that society and maybe our own families have embedded into our beliefs and they act as irrationally as their beliefs. And people die. For no reason. Except I believe there is a reason for EVERYTHING, even this.

So lets take off the ooooh, ah, I shouldn't say that, kid gloves and start talking about the prejudices, the 'isms, the media and socially embedded messages we all think about in regards to damn near every type of person, including those within our own race, religion, ethnicity... Why don't we stop debating about the validity verses insanity of hoodies killing people and start talking about how we can change the perception everyone (who isn't black, latino or from a lower socio economic neighborhood) has when they see a minority in a hoodie? Well, let's stop talking about hoodies in a minute, because while I wasn't anymore outraged by this crime against humanity as I am about all crimes against humanity, I am outraged by anyone saying the way this boy was dressed was as much to blame for his death as the human being that pulled the trigger. I am outraged by some of the comments I have read after the myriad of articles about hoodies, comments that support such rationalizations. I considered inserting one that has been particularly distressing to make my point but I decided against it because I am a firm believer that hate of any sort, even repeating someone else's hate, merely perpetuates hate.

Back to putting a warning label on hoodies... which I have about 5 of in my closet. So, I guess I better get on that. Oh wait, my skin is not the color that requires a warning label, I'm safe. Seriously though, I do get Geraldo's ridiculous point. Yes, I said I get it. I also get it when people say women shouldn't dress provocatively lest they put themselves at risk for rape. I can see where these people are coming from, as seriously misguided as they are at an attempt to make their point, I get their point. It's about perception and prejudices and the reality that we all have perceptions that lead to stereotypes and even prejudice, and if we aren't careful to examine where such perceptions stem from and uphold our core beliefs we could end up formulating an 'ism of our own. EVERYONE is capable of formulating an 'ism because there is always someone lower on the totem pole than you are, well, unless you are at the bottom of the pole but everyone has a different idea of who that person looks like.

So blacks need a warning label on their hoodies.... okay, well, why don't we tell black women not to choose braids for their hair style and Muslim women to put a warning label on their hijab and the men on their turbans, and Indian women may need a warning when they adorn a bindi. Maybe Hasidic Jews should cut their peyot and Native American men their long hair. Should observant Jews should put a big yellow star on their kippot just to make sure everyone sees their "may be killed" warning label? Everyone has something they wear or are adorned with that triggers a stereotype and even prejudice in others. Everyone. Even a white man in overalls or a three piece Armani suit stirs a stereotype. People are all bent out of shape about Geraldo's ridiculous way of making a point. I won't lie, I'm a bit bent out of shape about it myself, but why aren't  we bent out of shape about that part of what he is saying that is true? People have ingrained, irrational stereotypes embedded into the images in their brains of what makes people threatening, unlikable, undesirable, for whatever reason. This is what we need to change, and you don't change stereotypes by telling those who are different to change who they are so we can feel more comfortable being around them. No matter who the "we" and "them" are.

How do we do this? We teach. We systematically remove these images that are associated with fear and intolerance and irrational judgements. We no longer tolerate the images society depicts because those images have a lasting impression, on myself included. This is why I love the hoodie movement that the African American community has taken. Well, many have participated but in reality the negative perception of the hoodie only pertains to people of color and those living in lower SES neighborhoods, regardless of race. Because, lets face it, a lot of people view Eminem as a menace. I love these hoodie rally's because it goes against what society has taught everyone to expect in a situation of blatant racism without justice being served. What did people expect? Riots and violence. Because what else would a black man do when wronged? (I'm being sarcastic in case that wasn't clear) I am well aware, as are many others, that all black men are not violent just like all white men are not racist, yet this image image of violence still comes to mind even for me because I picture the riots media embedded in my brain after MLK's assignation and the Rodney king beating. These hoodie rally's are the exact change in perception our society needs.

Caleb in his PSU hoodie

What we need is much more than these rally's though, and it isn't just white Americans who need a systematic desensitization of centuries old stereotypes. Such prejudices exist within the same groups of people. Just because I am a Jew doesn't mean I don't have the same stereotypes about Jews ingrained in my head as the non Jew. I know them, I think them, and I have certain perceptions when I see some Jews even if I know they aren't usually true. Let's face it, most stereotypes are based on at least a partial truth.

Judgements are made within racial groups as well and it's easier because unless you have lost your sight everyone can see color. Blacks, particularly from lower income areas, who do well in school or pursue higher education or who "don't talk black" are looked down upon by their peers for "acting white". I've heard stories in my multicultural classes that lighter skinned African Americans can be made to feel less black or like they have less of a right to be a part of their culture by their peers. Same goes for Latinos. I've seen this from both of these races firsthand. It's difficult to keep these children excited about learning and wanting more from their life than to fall into the stereotypes that exist when so many of their peers look down on them for wanting such things. Yes, I'm talking about those stereotypes people think when they hear "minority from a low income area" which include drug use, teen pregnancy, unemployed, criminal behavior, welfare... The same things that can (but don't always) occur anywhere you have poverty. The images we have are because statistics do not lie. Statistics don't tell the whole story either.

So, lets get real. Our prisons are filled with minorities. It's the truth. Is it because of their skin color? NO. Crimes tend to be perpetuated by those who are under-educated, under the influence and/or have low financial resources. Minorities tend to fit into these categories because, this is a societal issue not a color issue. You will find the same conditions in lower SES neighborhoods no matter what color the person's skin is, no matter what country you are in. Desperation is desperation and ignorance is ignorance and the message that it's a black thing stems from centuries of such messages being ingrained in our society. If it took that long for these messages to be a part of who we are as a society it's going to take quite some time to erase these messages. Human beings do inhumane things, all types of human beings do inhumane things. It's being realistic to take precaution. It's turning your stereotype into a prejudice and maybe even an 'ism when you shoot and kill an unarmed teenage boy, nearly half your size, because you think he's up to no good, because he's black...and wearing a hoodie...even if he assaulted you.

So, no, this killing isn't my outrage. My outrage is that we continue to allow ingrained stereotypes to turn into prejudice, to turn into 'isms, to turn into hate to turn into kids being killed and then we perpetuate these very same stereotypes by creating a circus over a comment that a certain type of clothing is responsible for all of it. I think, when will we ever learn? All I can come up with is, NOW, because everything happens for a reason and this must to be that reason. So let's stop tiptoeing around and talk about the actual prejudices we have and finally, finally, work on eliminating those images from the minds of the next generation.